Love Letter to a Wife with Infertility
The Chicago Tribune published a very interesting article in the April 2 2007 edition of its Tempo Section, titled, "Blast from the past: The tale of the Oldest Song Ever." According to the article, Dr. Theo J.H. Krispijn, professor of Assyriology at Leiden University in the Netherlands, sang a 3,200 year old song inscribed on a clay tablet. The tablet was found in 1928 when the ancient city of Ugaret was discovered in northern Syria.
What is the context of this song? What are its lyrics? Apparently, the song is a lament, "the plaintive cry of an infertile woman" seeking the answer to her barrenness from Nikkal, the Assyrian moon goddess. The lyrics are:
"She [the goddess] let the married couples have children;
she let them be born to the fathers;
but the begotten will cry out, 'she has not borne any child.'
Why have not I as a true wife borne children for you?"
The song of this woman's marriage was filled with pain at not having children for her husband and her family. Infertility is still a deep pain in modern marriages for many women. They doubt their self-worth, their future and their self-image as a woman. Of course, today's medical care is much more advanced than 3,200 years ago and many causes can be determined with the right specialist.
As an emotionally-intelligent husband, you can write a love letter to your wife to express your care and concern for her, express your love to her and her condition, and offer your support. Here are five tips to keep in mind:
1. Be considerate of your wife's feelings. You may want children desperately, too. Avoid blaming and guilt trips.
2. Realize that there may be a solution that has already been developed or may be developed. Encourage a visit with a specialist.
3. Consider adopting a child. There are many beautiful children who want loving parents.
4. Give your wife extra love and attention. Encouragement goes a long way to relieve the pressure of unfulfilled expectations.
5. Write your love letter that words that value your wife as your deeply cherished spouse, no matter what has or will happen. Remember your wedding vows for better or worse and put that into writing.
Consider this example:
My darling Jessie,
You are so precious to me and your presence brings so much joy to our marriage and my life.
I know that not having a child has been very painful for you, as it has for me. But I want you to know that you take first place in my life. Children are important, but even if we never have them, I will love and cherish you.
We'll get through this time because of our love for each other. You can count on me to support you.
All my love,
Joe |
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